Last night I worked with Ashleigh at the pizza place. She told me that this past summer Joe used to hit her. He even hit her once for not giving him a blow job. Bill told me that the reason he went with me for a little while was because he was jealous that Ashleigh was with Joe for a little bit. I guess she wasn't with Joe when they were kissing, but he was still in the picture. Ashleigh went with Joe when I was with Bill. She got away from Joe and then went to Bill. I know they broke up for like a week about a month ago, but they are totally together now. I guess Bill really liked Ashleigh the whole time after all. I still would like to know if Bill liked me at all. They are really good together. Bills' friend Dan liked me, but now he is engaged to this girl Andrea. I never talk to Bill anymore. Ashleigh let me listen to his new CD out by "The Angry Penguins" after work. That was the first time I heard him sing.
When do I get to be with a good guy? I'm not patient. And I'm not just going to be with any guy who likes me. I lost Jon's number that I got when he was working at the Gas station store. Maybe I was supposed to lose it. Sometimes I think that I should be single so I can be a big flirt and not worry about guys hitting on me. I can do what I want. I'm kind of picky, but I don't think I'm that bad. I want a guy, but being single can be fun too.
Written Later:
I just want to say that I can't believe that this year is almost over. I really want to celebrate that this fucking year is over!!! I have never had such a crazy year. It's been really depressing to think about. So much shit has happened. If someone told me the future of this past year I would have thought they were crazy: Psych Wards, Overdosing on pills, kissing a girl, kissing boys, shoplifting, smoking pot, getting caught sneaking out in the middle of the night, kicked out of school, hanging out with trouble makerr and people from jail, and so much more.
The reason why Jake was so awesome was because he made me want to live. It felt so good to be kissed by him. I want a guy to make me feel alive again.
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