I think the reason why I was so happy to have Samantha as a friend was because she actually listened to me. And I listened to her. I was able to really talk to her and be myself. But she is a compulsive lier and she needs to keep her mouth shut. She back-stabbed me.
I really want a guy to really listen to me and who I can tell anything to. Josh was like that, but he is not who I thought he was. Just like I thought Sam was a different person. Just like I thought Whitney was a different person. Do you ever really know someone?
I just want to be able to trust that the people around me aren't going to turn on me and are really my friend. I'm so sick of trusting the wrong people. So what do I do?
I put in Bille Myers "Kiss the Rain" This song always makes me cry because I've had it for a while and it makes me remember the past. I'm depressed and I can't sleep.
I hope that being 17 is better than being 16! It's just gotta be. I don't really know who I am. I've started to cry because I'm hurt from my past. The past is who I am.
You know I haven't heard from Jake in like a week. I wonder what is up? I've tried calling Kristi to ask about him, but she won't pick up the phone. What happened? Is he sick of me already? Is he just busy? Did he meet a new girl?
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