Yesterday was a very interesting day. It started out by me writing Thank You notes to relatives who gave me something for my Birthday.
I talked to my friend Steve. I don't know if I ever told you this, but one night I told Steve that I might lose my virginity to Jake. He told me to never tell anyone that he wouldn't mind having me in bed. I feel weird that he said that Jake would pay to sleep with me.
Back to what happened yesterday. I tried to call Sabrina, but she was baby-sitting. Then I decided to call Ashleigh because the day before I was at work and Larry, my Boss, said he was going to have an interview with her. I hadn't talked to her in a while I guess because I thought she was mad at me. She said that she talked to Sam. Sam was talking shit about me. She even called me a slut. Ashleigh got mad at her because of what she said about me.
Kristi called me and then Jake talked to me. I went to Kristi's so I could see Jake. I stayed there till Kristi's mom bitched and wanted everyone out. Only Melissa and Kristina could stay because they were spending the night. Matt was there too. I finally met him.
Jake drove me to Ashleigh's house. He kissed me Good-Bye in the car. Ashleigh got ready to go out. We went to the Warehouse for Retro night. Bill her boyfriend showed up. Ashleigh and I danced a lot. Kristi stopped by, but she couldn't stay long because she didn't have any money.
Later, Steve saw me. He is the owner of the Warehouse. He kind of scares me. Do you want to know some of the things he has said to me?
Here are a few: "You are the prettiest girl that has ever come in here." "When do we get to have our secret affair?" "Will you stay here with me?" "Have Bill and Ashleigh leave you here." "Do I get a hug?"
What do you think now? Is he a pervert? Well he is like 35 years old. Damn! There are so many things he has said, but I forget. I asked him what he wanted from me and he wrote out a list.
1. Do things without me telling you to (kiss me, hug me, and let me grab your butt)
2. Stay here
I think I asked him if he was serious about the affair and he said, "Is that bad?"
When Ashleigh and Bill were together he would say, "She has her arms around him..." I said, "Yeah, but that's her boyfriend."
Somehow I did it anyway and kissed him on the cheek. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I should hug him.
Bill and Ashleigh drove me home despite Steve's protests of having me stay.
The next day I got a call from Sam. She denied saying bad stuff about me. I had just woken up so I was too tired to think. She said that Kristi and Jake called her. They asked her why she was lying and saying shit. She told me that she doesn't want to socialize with them anymore. She isn't allowed to go anywhere or she might get in trouble. She hangs out with Maria and her whole group now. They are "good people". Whatever!
I wish that I would have said that I didn't want to talk to Sam anymore. She was just being nice on the phone so I forgot everything she said like me being a "Slut". She is the Slut! She has had sex with over 6 guys. I don't even know how many, but it's probably up to 10 now. I'm really confused because I thought that she was my friend, but I wonder how many times that she has lied to me or talked shit about me.
Later I went to Ashleigh's house and we walked to the Pizza place. It was her first day being a waitress with me there. It was fun working with her. I met her later at the Warehouse.
Colleen and Bill were talking with Ashleigh in the T.V. room. Ashleigh was sitting on Bill's lap. X-Files was on the T.V. We also watched the Bands. Steve found me. I gave him a hug.
When we were getting ready to leave Steve wanted me to stay again. Ashleigh and Bill went down the stairs. Steve hugged me good bye and whispered in my ear "When do we get to have our secret affair?" He told me that I should visit him sometime. I feel obligated to hug him now. I don't know what to do. It's hard to explain how he has this control over me.
Bill thinks it's funny the way that Steve flirts with me or whatever. He says that I'm Steve's sex toy. Ashleigh doesn't really say anything, but she did say once that I should say, "When monkey's fly out of my ass I will have an affair with you!" Steve scares Ashleigh a little bit too.
I'm scared, alone, and depressed. No one seems to understand. I want to move away from here! I wish I was 18! I need help! Have any ideas?
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