My thoughts on life at age 15

May 18th

I’m so tired and mad at everything and I don’t exactly know why!

I wish I was really smart, had a lot of money, and basically had everything I wanted.  I would want the perfect body and personality!

I’m really not happy with myself for who I am. 

I just feel like I have so much anger inside me and I don’t know how to get it out! You know if I had everything I wanted… Would I really be happy? I don’t really know what will make me happy!

I’m really afraid of the future. Will I marry the right guy?

I wish I didn't not worry so much! I wish I could escape somewhere, but where?

Will escaping solve any of my worries?

No, but I just need a place where I don’t need to think about anything. It’s a very peaceful place with a lot of flowers.

I seem to think about myself a lot these days. I didn't used to be like that. What happened to me? I seem to want to rebel against the world. What has the world done for me? I want to be a good person, but I seem to make a lot of bad choices. I feel like I need help! I’m always late for class and I can’t seem to be on time for events. I can’t get ready on time. Another thing is, This 20 year old guy likes me. I kind of like him back, but I’m only 15! I’m so confused!

I’m getting D’s in high school now.  Why does life have to be full of choices and complications? And if I make the wrong choice it could change my life forever. I really want to be closer to God!